Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
