are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
