Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize