i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
