I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
