I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
