Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
