He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
