Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize