Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
