Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
