Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
