she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
