btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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