If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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