Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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