I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize