btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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