he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize