if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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