Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
