he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
