Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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