i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
