She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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