I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
