Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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