Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
