If i come over, it means nothing
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
