we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
