Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
