Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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