i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
