every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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