3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
