mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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