Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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