Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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