So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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