Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
