I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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