my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
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