Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
