she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
