I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize