I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
