I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
