Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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