You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
