im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
honey bunches of taint.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
