when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
