1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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