well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
