summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
