i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
