I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
