I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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